Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes write by Lewis Grizzard. This book was released on 1997-08-01. Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. This time Lewis Grizzard has gone and done it--written a book about sex, as seen through his bespectacled, ironic squint. He tells us why Junior Leaguers don't do it in groups, why Baptists won't do it standing up, and why Richard Nixon never did it, among other things. "From the Paperback edition.
If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground
If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground write by Lewis Grizzard. This book was released on 2012-01-01. If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Lewis Grizzard got his first newspaper job when he was ten years old. Thirty-odd years later (thirty-very-odd years) he's still in the newspaper business--and he's still infuriated by it, still tickled by it, and still very much in love with it. If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground is all about that anger, that great humor and that even greater passion for something that affects every single one of us: the daily newspaper. Grizzard begins with his first writing job (covering a Boy's Church League team in Newman, Georgia), and continues through his college years in Athens, Georgia, where he learned how to do such things as prepare a front-page headline and layout in case Jesus Christ ever returned to earth. (Headline: HE'S BACK!) He examines the great Atlanta years and the cold Chicago winters--as sports editor of the Sun-Times, during which Grizzard lost his second wife, his cool, and very nearly his sanity, but also learned an awful lot about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This is Grizzard's funniest--and his best--book yet.
Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself
Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself write by Lewis Grizzard. This book was released on 2011-08-01. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. The 1950s were simple times to grow up. For Lewis Grizzard and his buddies, gallivanting meant hanging out at the local store, eating Zagnut candy bars and drinking "Big Orange bellywashers." About the worst thing a kid ever did was smoke rabbit tobacco rolled in paper torn from a brown grocery sack, or maybe slick back his hair into a ducktail and try gyrating his hips like Elvis. But then assassinations, war, civil rights, free love, and drugs rocked the old order. And as they did, Grizzard frequently felt lost and confused. In place of Elvis, the Pied Piper of his generation, Grizzard now found wormy-looking, long-haired English kids who performed either half-naked or dressed like Zasu Pitts. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself is the witty, satiric, nostalgic account of Grizzard's efforts to survive in a changing world. Sex, music, clothes, entertainment, and life itself receive the Grizzard treatment. In this, his sixth book, Grizzard was never funnier or more in tune with his readers. He might not have felt so good himself, but his social commentary and humor can still make the rest of us feel just fine.
Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night
Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night write by Lewis Grizzard. This book was released on 2014-11-03. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. The author of the phenomenal - and hilarious - best-seller Don't Bend over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes is back with an all-new collection of his funniest, sharpest observations yet. In Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night, Grizzard once again confirms his reputation as the "William Faulkner of just plain folks" using colorful storytelling and his own wonderful brand of humor to tackle such Grizzardian subjects as: International Relations: "If John Wayne were still alive, he'd know what to do to the Japanese investors - take a seven iron and run them and their checkbooks back home before it's too late and Vanna White has to learn eight zillion character signs in the Japanese alphabet to keep her job." Fashion: "Don't wear anything that features a picture of a pelican, a pink flamingo or a beer can." The Future: "I'm predicting the world isn't going to come to an end anytime soon. There's too much unresolved, like whether or not Elvis is still alive, Jimmy Swaggart can stay on television, and if there will be another Rambo sequel." Dating: "Any single white female who has to resort to taking out an ad to find a boyfriend would take a SWM who's into yodeling, Hustler magazine, Ripple and robbing convenience stores." Getting Back to Nature: "Snakes are right up there with the things that I fear most. Lightning is on that list. So is flying in bad weather at night, the dentist, and revenge-minded ex-wives." People Who Cheat in the 12-Items-or-Less Express Lane: "Previously, I have dog-cussed these people and put curses on them, like, 'May your children grow up to be liberal Democrats.' I'm not going to be that mean-spirited anymore. What I'm going to do is go to the vegetable bin, grab a large cucumber, and beat them about the head and shoulders with it." Lewis Grizzard offers his views on everything from politics, religion, sex and golf to the largest condom heist in history, proving he is wittier and more outrageous than ever. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night shows why the South's most popular humorist is now America's most popular funny man.
It Wasn't Always Easy, But I Sure Had Fun
It Wasn't Always Easy, But I Sure Had Fun - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook It Wasn't Always Easy, But I Sure Had Fun write by Lewis Grizzard. This book was released on 1995-05. It Wasn't Always Easy, But I Sure Had Fun available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. The book Grizzard was working on when he died, and contains what he thought represented the best of the last decade of his writing.
