Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank write by Celia Rivenbark. This book was released on 2007-09-04. Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. A collection of essays about life in the Southern United States.
Rude Bitches Make Me Tired
Rude Bitches Make Me Tired - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook Rude Bitches Make Me Tired write by Celia Rivenbark. This book was released on 2013-10-22. Rude Bitches Make Me Tired available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. In this always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for the modern age Celia Rivenbark addresses real-life quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: it doesn't include tattoos or truck decals). Rude Bitches Make Me Tired will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including: Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really care?")The baffling aspects of airline travel (such as "Recline Monster" and other animals)The art of the visit (always leave them wanting more . . . much more)Gym and locker etiquette (hint: no one wants to talk to you while you're buck naked)Office manners ("Loud talkers, cake hawkers, and Britney Sue's unfortunate cyst")And much more! Good manners have never been so wickedly funny!
We're Just Like You, Only Prettier
We're Just Like You, Only Prettier - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook We're Just Like You, Only Prettier write by Celia Rivenbark. This book was released on 2010-04-01. We're Just Like You, Only Prettier available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. "On the short drive to the preschool, I dutifully unwrap a NutriGrain bar and toss it into the back seat to my four-year-old. Sometimes I'll even unwrap one for myself. Studies have shown that it's very important for familes to eat together. . . . " Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes. What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again. What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on. Want to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well, nobody much. What does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart. In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of "Mama and them's," "precious and dahlin," and mommies who mow. Ya'll come back now, you hear.
Belle Weather
Belle Weather - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook Belle Weather write by Celia Rivenbark. This book was released on 2010-07-01. Belle Weather available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Bestselling Author of We're Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp Hang on to your hats! We're in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark, of whom USA Today has said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you'll hear from Celia on: --The joys of remodeling Tara --How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew --Britney's To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up --How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day --Why French women suck at competitive eating --The truth about nature deficit disorder --The difference between cockroaches and water bugs --The beauty of Bedazzlers And much, much more! Whether she's doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna's mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing until the very last page.
You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning
You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning - read free eBook in online reader or directly download on the web page. Select files or add your book in reader. Download and read online ebook You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning write by Celia Rivenbark. This book was released on 2009-09-01. You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as: • Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate • How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life • Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering • Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that? • Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time • Airlines serving up one hot mess • Action figure Jesus • Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter • And much more! Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.
